There’s No Place Like Home

I’ve just eaten the last of the chocolate buttons. Gutted. Not because I’m trying to shift three stone of baby weight, or because my daughter will be upset when she discovers there are not buttons to be had but because they are my bartering weapon against the growing tide of my free-thinking, determined two-year-old. She will smell my weakness and know putting on shoes, getting into the car, tidying toys will gain her nothing in the world of toddler versus mum.

So here I am. A mother-of-two. A walking cliche of parenthood. Tears and tantrums and that’s just me. Chortle chortle.

I would like to say this blog will be mostly about the genius ideas that fill my 30-something mind or the witicisms with which fill me with much merriment. But no, like most other parents, every ounce of energy and brainpower is taken up with my children. A baby and a toddler. One girl and one boy. Apparently this is a pigeon pair, so I’ve been told. And told you are with children. Advice is thrown at you from the moment you announce you’re pregnant like over eager teenagers who can’t control their libido after too many WKDs. All of it different and none of it right. As with parenting I’m not sure there are any real rights and wrongs. All children are different and so are all families and parents.

I say this after also throwing out rather a lot of advice about sleep during my first year as a mum. Probably not just about sleep to be honest. Way to go Gina (Ford). I recited her sleep training because quite frankly it worked a dream on my first baby who slept through from 7 weeks. Second baby and erm not quite so. So after I swallowed that enormous pill of humble I am starting to think perhaps your child is who they are and will be who they are regardless of what you do (well sort of). Don’t start me on pushing. We’ve been through the pushing phase and had the looks that I’ve not disciplined enough. But boy have we. And we’ve tried a variety of approaches, but now I’ve realised it really is just a phase and not to do with parenting. Enter smug face here about those parents who are now experiencing pushing and were so keen to give me the “boundary” advice lesson. Ha bloody ha.

So I’m rambling and could continue. But won’t. Next time I will try – repeat – try to be focused.


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