I make a lot of parenting fails. Pretty much everyday I mess up. Last year, at times, it made me feel pretty rubbish. This year, now my baby is 17 months and my first born three, I’m a lot more sorted. I pride myself on the fact they’re alive at the end of each day.
1. Yesterday my fiercely independent daughter wanted to dress herself before preschool. It’s a daily ritual. I try to choose an outfit that doesn’t make her look like she’s an extra in the Dickensian scenes of Oliver. However, due to the excessive washing needed to avoid Ebola (my children are filthy – today my son drank old sand water and didn’t flinch), I fear a lot of her clothes are beyond tired.
She chose a dress I wasn’t entirely embarrassed by, especially as it was only her second day of preschool. Then she chose her knickers. Like usual. How we battle over knickers. If they haven’t got a vile branded cartoon character on she won’t wear them.
It was no different yesterday. I left her to get on with it.
We went to preschool in the usual frenzy of “oh my goooood we haven’t got your shoes/coat/jacket/snack/sun hat/the toddler”, and went on our way.
I left her in the nirvana of messy play she rarely sees at home because quite frankly the mess fries my head.
When I returned three hours later to pick her up, her key worker said to me “erm, on her form it said she’s toilet trained, but she had a pull up on that was very full of wee”. Waaaaaaah. Insert bright red cheeks from me and possibly a call to social services from them. My daughter hadn’t taken off her pull ups from nighttime. Utterly bizarre as usually it’s the first thing she does. I was devastated. Parent fail number 1.
2. Scooting is pretty much the ultimate way to travel. My daughter is like an athlete at it. She is fast, super fast and zooms down roads faster than Oscar Pistorius (erm not appropriate?). She is also fantastic at stopping at roads and looking for traffic. Yesterday, she did the zooming, but not the stopping. She scooted across a road while my friend and I screamed at her. Luckily there was no vehicle and no dead kid. Major parenting fail number 2. My heart is still in my mouth.
3. The boychild is obsessed with the outside water and sand table. He loves it. I love that he loves it. But I don’t love that he keeps toddling outside, playing with said water and sand table and then climbing into it, standing in the water and sand sections before shouting “Mummmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaa”. How do they do that in the two seconds you’ve blinked? New shoes covered. Parent fail 3.
4. Not enough cooking, too many dinners of bits. Nuff said. Parent fail 4.
Photo: my daughter with her much-loved fairy wings on.