This week I’ve been on one. Car insurance, gas and electric tariff, SKY TV, broadband, blah blah blah. They all needed renewing. Total pain in the arse. The sacred minutes at the end of the day when I’m not wiping crap off a baby’s arse, wiping crap off a tablecloth, wiping crap off a kitchen surface or dealing with crap at work, I don’t really want to have to do office-like crap negotiations at home. On Tuesday I was on the phone to car insurance companies till 9pm. Utter crap.
But the one shining ray of hope from the efforts of negotiating the absolute best deal (I’ve saved 33% on our gas bill!) is that we’ve got box sets as part of our SKY TV package. Yay. I can live in the now, like all those people at work who talk about The Wire or Game of Thrones. No longer shall I have to quote Terry and June or be silently mocked for not knowing what they’re on about. NB: Did say to colleagues I thought Game of Thrones was a bit “rapey” and wasn’t sure about it. Pretty sure they muttered “Mary Whitehouse” under their breath. Shit.
The box set thing though delighted Mr MotherFudger and I enormously. Mainly because our relationship is now pretty much limited to “ooo another night in how exciting” rather than “shall we go out for dinner, see a film, watch a play, live a life we always dreamed of”. Now it’s “wow, we last went out in March, let’s do that again in January.” We have genuinely asked for babysitting as a joint Christmas present.
To be honest staying in being the new going out is bollocks. A pint of lager, crafty fag and getting shitfaced in my 20s rocked. Another night of battling “I’m going to catch up on Eastenders” followed by an enormous moan which is then married up with “I’m watching River Monsters because you watched that shite Eastenders last night” isn’t really competing with those heddy nights in my youth.
Until this week. When SKY TV gave us box sets. We embraced each other and said finally, we could find our televisual nirvana, sit upon our sofa and indulge in a joint pleasure. I made fakeaway (no fat takeaway!):
(That is egg fried rice and sweet chilli chicken if you were wondering due to the excessive yellow picture)…
And we sat down to relax. Then we started what we have started for several nights now…
…we’ve been watching the planner. Mr MotherFudger has literally been scrolling for hours. Hours and hours trying to find that perfect box set.
Come back River Monsters, all is forgiven. (Actually it’s not, Jeremy Wade is a knob.)