I am such a slacker on here. I don’t know how hardened bloggers post so frequently and hold down anything else in their lives. Aside from the day to day taking over, so did Christmas, New Year and going back to work.
But hopefully back in business.
So Christmas was fun yet exhausting. The kids utterly loved it, we were all spoilt and I ate far too much and put on a stone. I joke not.
However, there were some key lessons I learnt this year to guide me through the future yules as a mum:
- Don’t have your hair cut the day before Christmas Eve. Putting all your faith in the oh so trendy Belgium hipster seemed like such a good idea at the time. Result: mullet. Not only will it not have calmed down by Christmas Day, but you won’t have a clue how to style your new scalped locks, so end up looking like a 1970s reject. Mr MotherFudger said I looked like Rod Stewart. My mother (NanaFudger) told me no less than four times on Christmas Day how much she disliked it.
- Don’t agree to cook numerous dishes for various family occasions. The Sunday before Christmas I spent all day baking. After being scalped on the Tuesday (see point one) I then had to cook two gammons, a dairyfree orange and almond cake, red cabbage…erm actually forgotten the rest, but it was a lot. Next year I will buy my contributions so I can sit on my arse and gorge myself to another stone gain.
- Don’t expect your children to act like chilled out Buddhist monks when it’s all over, after you spent a month winding them up about all the decorations, the parties, Father Christmas, the presents and general merriment. Consider it karma when they go feral from the 27th December and are unable to control their emotions on a minute by minute basis.
- Embrace the avalanche of new toys in your house, rather than having a near meltdown demanding you go shopping for toy storage on 29th December and then promptly buy the largest tubs you can find in a simple “throw all the toys in there” every night approach. Please note: this was Mr MF far more than me. We actually renamed 29 December National Storage Emergency Day as EVERYONE was at The Range buying insane amount of new storage.
- Don’t believe anyone who makes a perfectly iced Gingerbread House and puts their pictures on Facebook. They are liars. Ours was a disaster. GirlFudger basically ate all the icing while I wept through the pain of trying to “build” the house that collapsed…several times. Painful. Also partly responsible for the stone gain.
And so here is 2015. Another year, the year my daughter starts school, the year I’ll have been married for five years, the year I will wear lipstick more, the year I will write that book, the year I will be more patient, the year I’ll get infected by the running bug. Well one can hope.