Think you know your dinosaurs – take the test

As is the way with this parenting malarkey, as soon as you spring a child from your loins, you give over your house to baby-related stuff. For months the Jumperoo was my best friend. It also ate up approximately 45% of the floor space in our house. Getting rid of it was bittersweet as it meant my sanity break of the bouncing baby meant said baby was now crawling around and pulling off/throwing/catapulting things we’d had in our life we loved that essentially were ruined within minutes. Fisher Price need to make one for every age of child. I need that level of entrapment.

The Jumperoo was replaced by other stuff that are apparently toys. Overpriced plastic shite I see it as. Sometimes they play with it, often they beat each other up with it, frequently they nag for more of the shite when we’re out. But one group of these toys that seem to be breeding in MotherFudger Towers is dinosaurs. They’re everywhere.

Tubs of little plastic dinosaurs that find their way everywhere. My “no toys in our bedroom/kitchen/utility room”* rule has gone to shit.

One thing I am failing on (aside from being the earth mum clearly I’m not) is the names and types. It’s starting to get embarrassing. The boychild knew a pterodactyl before I did. He turned 2 in March. I’m down with that T-Rex – who isn’t – but most others I haven’t a clue.

This isn’t helped by Mr MotherFudger’s knowledge of dinosaurs that’s akin to a paleontologist. I’ve always said he’s on the spectrum.

So I’ve set myself a challenge – to teach myself what each of them are….take my test with me and see how we do:

1. I’m starting with an easy one. The big daddy of em, we all know this one don’t we:


A: The T-Rex. Look at the mighty Tyrannosaurs Rex – meaning King of the Tyrant Lizards apparently.

2. Okies, another easy one, even I do know this one really:


A: Triceratops there having a little fight. I know these, I know these, I can do this dino thang. (Hello Kitty is so shouting on from the side lines “fight fight fight”. Cheeky little bitch.)

3. Errrm OK, I want to say summat obvious, but I don’t think I’m right:


A: I’ve forgotten, so have to look them up. They don’t eat meat. I think. Hmm, not sure they’re the same there though….Mr MF I’m stuck on my own test…..could be a Barosaurus (are their necks long enough?), the dino bible we have is telling me they’re ‘sauropods’. Mr MF is confirming Diplodocus and Brachiosaurus. You live and learn.

4. This one is hard:


A: I didn’t even get a chance to answer. Mr MF is now gate crashing the fun and immediately said “it’s some kind of ankylosaur”. GEEK ALERT GEEK ALERT.

5. What’s this trio of bad boys?

A: I’m thinking raptors of some kind. I’m also getting bored…akin to the owl in the photo – it’s so bored with this game it’s passed out. Apparently the geek is saying “obviously you can see they’re some kind of theropod”. Ermm obviously?! Keep with this – the owl is going to make an entry soon. You’re on the edge of your seats I’m sure.

6. This is super controversial in MotherFudger Towers:


A: Not only have I apparently positioned it all wrong (not standing up). I know this is a pterodactyl. Mr MF just said “why the fuck is it in a tub of dinosaurs, this is a quadroped. However, this isn’t as bad as putting a dimetredon in there”. You can see why I married him right?

7. God I love this little chap:


A: Easy tiger, not another triceratops, no sireeee – this is a Pentaceratops. Five horns or summat. Yeeehaaaaaa.

8. IMG_4630

A: Left – our friend old steggers. On the right I actually asked a four-year-old boy at toddler group today what this was. He looked at me, embarrassed, and told me. I have forgotten. I’m now so bored I’ve given up.

Also Mr MF is now telling me his top dino facts. Duck: dinosaur. Pterodactyl: not a dinosaur. Owl: dinosaur. Pterodactyl: not a dinosaur.

Knowing your weaknesses as well as your strengths is a good thing.

How did you do? Get all 8, although actually there are really 10, or laughed at my poor dino knowledge?


One thought on “Think you know your dinosaurs – take the test

  1. A very funny, and probably enlightening, piece MF. However I have to admit to feeling extremely proud that I didn’t know any of the bloody things! The only plastic model of dinosaurs when I was young were in the Cornflakes and hoisted out before we could get to them in case we swallowed the minuscule things.

    I’m also thinking that plastic models, be they expertly proportioned or not, left lying about anywhere could constitute a health hazard. Especially when grandparents and other visitors are asked to deposit footwear before entering MF homestead!

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