I’ve just painted the garage door. Again. It’s a task I started two weeks ago and seems to require endless coats of paint as still looks patchy. But rather than get changed out of my clothes and find some I couldn’t care less about, I had a lightbulb moment and thought ‘why not put on Mr MF’s overalls?’
Well, little did I know about the world of overall wearing – but in the last few hours I’ve become a convert.
Who knew the warm, comfortable, durable and actually flattering garment was holding such joy?
Let me take you through what I’ve found out about the pleasures of overall wearing and why, I think every mum (and dad) needs them in their life:
1. They cover everything.
Don’t want your nice fancy clothes to get dirty – sling on an overall. Job done. Feeding the kids, which is basically still like a scene from the zoo when the monkeys are given boxes of fruit. No worry – the overall will cover your ass (quite literally).
And when I say cover everything I’m also referring to the junk in my trunk that no diet or form of exercise is ever going to shift. Postpartum tummies – nothing to see here people. They’re actually quite flattering. Fuck yes.
2. They’re oh so comfy
I feel like Mr MF and my dad have been hiding the secret pleasure of wearing overalls from me. Do boys get told about overalls when girls get taken off and told about periods? Who knew just how comfortable they were. I’m not going to lie – a bend and snap is tricky – but you’re so contained, so warm, so all in there. It’s a nice feeling. Kinda like going back into the womb again.
3. Pimp potential
Granted they’re plain (we’ll get onto the zippage) but versatility is the key here. You’re doing the nursery or school run – overalls on, job done. You’re off out for a pint to the pub (like that ever happens as a parent?) – slick of lippy and a bangle, job done. Maybe it’s a rare dinner out – big chunky necklace on, maybe add a belt – job done. So many accessorising possibilities here. We’re been missing a trick for years women of the world. As you can see here I’ve pimped mine up with a dirty pair of Mr MF’s overlarge Crocs, however, sling on a kitten heel and you’ve done day to night in a second!
4. Zips and pocket pleasure
You know all that crap you have to carry around as a parent. Jeeez, will that changing bag stage ever be over? And then it is and you’re still laden down like you’ve fled your home for good. Well fear no more. Leave that bag at home because there are so many pockets. Phone pocket on right boob, other pocket on other boob. Leg pockets for snacks or keys or whatever. THIS IS THE DREAM GARMENT PEOPLE. Look how happy I am. Maybe they’re even laced with oxytocin? *Calls Travis Perkins to ask*
5. We have the skills
We’ve been embracing jumpsuits again for the last few years – this is just the next step. Yes you may have to peel the whole ruddy thing down to your ankles to have a wee, but we’re used to that. We’ve perfected the art of that with the return of the jumpsuit. We’re ready for this.
You know those poxy freebies you get given as a new parent – bottles of lotions you never use, endless leaflets about shit you feel judged on? Well THIS is the real win. Bounty should abandon everything else and give these as standard issue after childbirth.
We’d all live happily ever after.