Why kittens are just like having a newborn

 

Perhaps it was my ovaries clacking for a third child, or because I grew up with lot of animals, or maybe I wanted my children to experience how amazing it is to have a pet, but for years I’ve wanted a cat.

And like many things I’ve wanted, it’s only a matter of time before Mr MotherFudger is so fed up with my incessant going on that he gives up and agrees. So, at the end of November, we welcomed our twins – two beautiful fluffy little fur babies – into our lives…

…they are the CUTEST. THINGS. EVER.

We are all absolutely obsessed with them.

Now here’s the thing – Mr MF wasn’t a cat lover. In fact, he was a bit anti cats. But the strangest thing has happened. Mr MotherFudger is absolutely obsessed. Like properly can’t stop talking about them, sending me texts about them, sharing memes about cats, and cooing over them just like they were a newborn.

In fact, we’re all cooing over them as if they were precious little babies. Well, the girlchild, Mr MF and I are. The boychild is basically terrorising them or asking them to play rock, paper, scissors. The other day he was walking one on its back legs. He’s on a journey with the kittens shall we say. Luckily they’re insanely chilled out.

But they’ve become our new babies. My ovaries have calmed down, because we’re all playing out our love through the kittens. So I’ve realised – they are like having a newborn in so many ways – only a shitload cheaper…

• Despite mocking others when they talk to their babies/pets in silly voices Mr MF and I can’t stop talking to them in those exact stupid baby voices. I put on this crazy annoying voice. It’s impossible to stop doing it.
• All the things we said we wouldn’t do have gone out of the window. “We won’t have them in our bed”. By the end of the first week we’re encouraging them into our bed to co-sleep. Although for three nights in the first week Mr MF slept on the sofa with them “because they looked so so sad every time I got up to come upstairs.”
• We’re obsessed about what they’re eating, when they’re eating, how much they’re eating and what they weigh. I nearly shed a tear when the vet said they’d gained a great amount of weight. Proud mummy.
• We keep carrying them around with us, as if they will have neglect issues in later life if we don’t.
• Just like a baby – before you have one your husband doesn’t give a shit about babies, now they’re here, he’s absolutely obsessed. It takes me right back to the time I had the girlchild. He’d call me and check she was fine and that she had slept and ate and played. He’s doing the same with the kittens. He texts me to check they’re OK and happy. He even asked me the other day to get my parents to go to the house (while I was at work) “just in case the kittens need cuddles”.
• They have more toys than they can or want to play with, but we just can’t resist buying more, because, you know, a kitten cannot have too many pretend cat nip mice!
• Even when they’re a bit naughty, they’re still so damn cute and you can’t be cross. They’ve ruined the large floor lamp in the lounge – and we just laughed – because THEY’RE KITTENS. Awww.
• The immediate protection you feel is akin to a lioness. If anyone hurt them I would go wild!
• There’s so much love. Who knew such small things can generate such wonderful feelings of love in a house…just like a newborn.
• You start thinking about the next one you may get/have because why not – they’re just so lovely.

We’re definitely smitten kittens!